A woman approached the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured to the bartender, who came over promptly. She signaled for him to lean closer, and as he did, she gently touched his beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands through his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," the bartender said. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need you to give him a message," she continued. She ran a finger across his lips, then playfully put a couple of her fingers into his mouth, letting him suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender mumbled.
"Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies' room."