The ritual officer, in full ceremonial attire, addressed the pigs in the sty with utmost seriousness: "You need not fear death. I shall treat you with the utmost respect and courtesy. I will spend three months fattening you up. Ten days before the ceremony, I will purify myself through bathing and fasting. Three days prior, I will abstain from wine and meat. During the ritual, your legs will be placed upon delicate vessels, cushioned with fragrant couch grass. It will be a grand and solemn occasion, and you should take pride in your participation."
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