A rather attractive woman approaches the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman, who comes over immediately. She signals for him to bring his face close to hers and begins to gently caress his full, bushy beard.
"Are you the landlord?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replies.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she continues, running her hands up into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the barman, clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes," she continues huskily, placing a couple of fingers into his mouth for him to suck gently. "I need you to give him a message."
"Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies' room."