A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Instructions at the entrance describe how the store operates:
"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors, and the value of the products increases as you ascend. You may choose an item from any floor, or go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!"
A woman goes to the store to find a husband.
- First floor: "These men Have Jobs."
- Second floor: "These men Have Jobs and Love Kids."
- Third floor: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking."
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
- Fourth floor: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework."
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims. "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes up.
- Fifth floor: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak."
She is so tempted to stay, but she proceeds to the sixth floor.
- Sixth floor: "You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men here. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store."
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store across the street. It also has six floors.
- First floor: Wives that love sex.
- Second floor: Wives that love sex and have money.
- The third through sixth floors have never been visited.