A middle-aged couple is watching TV when a TV evangelist comes on and promises to heal the sick.
"If only you would pray with Him, place your right hand in the air, and place your left hand on the afflicted area, the Almighty Lord will heal you."
So the man places his right hand in the air and his left hand on his crotch. His wife says, "Gee, honey, he said heal the sick, not raise the dead!"