A man dies and, due to his evil and sinful life, goes to hell. The devil meets him at the gates and says, "I don't know what you've heard, but hell isn't all that bad. Let me ask you, do you like to smoke?"
The man answers, "Yes, I do."
"Oh, good," the devil says. "You'll LOVE Mondays. Every Monday we all sit around and smoke cigarettes, cigars, pipes, and try out new tobaccos. Do you like to drink?"
The man answers, "Yeah, sure, I like to drink."
The devil says, "Good, you'll love Tuesdays, then. All we do on Tuesdays is sit around and drink beer, wine, and all kinds of mixed drinks. You'll just love Tuesdays. Do you like to swear?"
"Sure," says the man, "I swear a lot."
"Great. You'll love Wednesdays," the devil says. "On Wednesdays, all we do is sit around and swear a lot, try to make up new cuss words, and have a great time. You'll just love Wednesdays. Oh, by the way," asks the devil, "Are you gay?"
"Hell no," the man replies, "I hate fags!"
The devil looks at him and says, "Then you're gonna hate Thursdays."