Heaven or Hell? | 天堂还是地狱?

点击查看中英对照

Bill Gates dies in a car accident and finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by God.

"Bill, I'm really confused," God said. "I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before: I'll let you decide where you want to go."

"Well, what's the difference?" Bill asked.

"I'll let you visit both places briefly, if it helps your decision," God replied.

"Fine. Where should I go first?"

"I'll leave that up to you."

"Okay then, let's try Hell first."

Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. Many beautiful women were running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking. The sun was shining, and the temperature was perfect. He was very pleased.

"This is great!" he told God. "If this is Hell, I really want to see Heaven!"

"Fine," said God, and off they went.

Heaven was high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a minute and made his decision.

"Hmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God.

"Fine," retorted God, "as you desire."

So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire. When he arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall in a dark cave, screaming amongst hot flames, being burned and tortured by demons.

"How's everything going?" God asked.

Bill responded, his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women?"

"That was a demo," replied God.

阅读记录
请先 登录 后记录阅读完成
为这篇文章评分
点击星星进行评分(1-5分)
相关文章
Surgeons' Coffee Break | 外科医生的咖啡闲谈

Four surgeons humorously compare the ease of operating on...

beginner dialogue
All Lawyers Are Assholes! | 所有律师都是混蛋!

A joke about a bar patron who objects to a sweeping insul...

dialogue humor
Three Surgeons | 三位外科医生

Three surgeons boast about their miraculous surgeries, ea...

dialogue english-learning
The Mars Mission Interview | 火星任务面试

NASA interviews three professionals for a one-way Mars mi...

dialogue humor
The Future Organization Plan | 未来的组织架构图

An executive presents a satirical "future organization pl...

business future
Dummy vs Dummy | 木偶与傻瓜

A ventriloquist's blonde joke is interrupted by a blonde ...

dialogue humor
Ounces of Brain for Sale | 论盎司售卖的脑

A man inquires about the price of professional brains at ...

dialogue humor
The Interview | 面试

A desperate applicant repeatedly lowers his job expectati...

career dialogue
Redneck's Birth Control | 红脖子的避孕方式

A father misunderstands the term "sexually active" when t...

culture dialogue
A Brain Transplant | 脑移植手术

A patient is offered a choice between a psychologist's br...

brain dialogue
The Evangelist | 福音传教士

A couple follows a TV evangelist's healing instructions, ...

adult-humor dialogue
What is 1+2? | 一加二等于几?

A humorous take on how different professionals might answ...

dialogue humor
A Brain Transplant | 大脑移植

A patient is quoted vastly different prices for a psychol...

brain-surgery dialogue
The Lie-Clock | 谎言时钟

A man in heaven learns about "Lie-Clocks" that record eve...

dialogue english-learning
Plane Conversation | 飞机上的对话

A boy uses a clever analogy about animal digestion to hum...

anecdote conversation
The Best Stimulant | 最佳兴奋剂

A patient asks his doctor for a stimulant to feel excited...

dialogue everyday-life
Love Beyond Words | 无法言说的爱

A humorous dialogue where a boy's claim of "love beyond w...

beginner dialogue
Are You Gay? | 你是同性恋吗?

A man in hell is promised enjoyable days for his vices (s...

dialogue humor
Mother Teresa in Heaven | 天堂里的特蕾莎修女

A humorous tale where Mother Teresa, after a life of piet...

dialogue humor
The Grass Eater | 吃草的人

A rich man invites a poor grass-eater and his family to h...

beginner dialogue