Today, the world was stunned by the news of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe the death occurred around 8:42 PM last evening.
Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept "going, and going, and going," "Pinkie," as he was known to friends and family, was alone at the time of his death.
An emergency autopsy was performed early this morning. Chief Medical Examiner Dura Cell concluded the cause of death was acute cardiac arrest induced by sexual over-stimulation. Apparently, someone had put the bunny's batteries in backwards, and he kept coming, and coming, and coming...