A man gets a $5,000 face-lift for his birthday and is thrilled with the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand.
Before leaving, he asks the clerk, "How old do you think I am?"
"About 35," comes the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the man says, delighted.
Next, at McDonald's, he asks the cashier the same question.
"Oh, you look about 29," she says.
"I am actually 47," he repeats, beaming.
Later, at a bus stop, he asks an old woman.
She replies, "I'm 85, and my eyesight is poor. But in my youth, there was a sure way to tell a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants for ten minutes, I could tell you your exact age."
Seeing no one around, the man thinks, What the hell, and lets her proceed.
Ten minutes later, she announces, "Okay, you are 47."
Stunned, the man asks, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonald's."