Ellen the eagle first suspected she needed glasses the day she swooped down and grabbed a small lawn chair for her hungry children. Back at the nest, her son remarked sarcastically, while her husband, Ed, was more forgiving.
"Honey, you might want to get your eyes checked," Ed suggested. "It's easy and only costs a mouse or two."
Ellen agreed but worried about wearing glasses in public. Ed reassured her, mentioning contact lenses as a discreet option. Realizing she couldn't keep bringing back lawn chairs, Ellen decided to visit the optometrist.
The next day, the optometrist tested her vision using a chart of small animals two miles away. Ellen struggled, misidentifying hippos and elephants for smaller creatures. "Your eyesight is below the eagle standard," the optometrist concluded, recommending glasses or contacts.
Ellen inquired about contact lenses. The optometrist explained modern lenses were comfortable and on sale for three dead mice. Ellen was surprised at the price, expecting two. The optometrist warned that cheaper lenses were inferior and might impair her ability to read distant license plates—a key skill for eagles.
Horrified by the thought, Ellen quickly purchased the three-mice lenses. As she flew home, she reasoned the extra cost was worth it for her eyesight.
Upon her return, Ed eagerly asked about her new eyewear. With renewed confidence, Ellen hopped to the back of the nest and nudged the lawn chair over the edge.
"No more lawn chairs in this nest," she announced smugly. "Only proper prey from now on."
Ed, who had grown fond of the chair, asked if she could find another. Ellen was firm: "No more lawn chairs, ever. Let's fly and find real dinner for the kids."