The Three Army-Surgeons | 三个军医

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Three army-surgeons, confident in their skill, were traveling the world. They stopped at an inn for the night.

The innkeeper asked about their journey. "We roam the world and practice our art," they replied. "Show me what you can do," challenged the host. The first boasted he could cut off his hand and reattach it by morning. The second claimed he could tear out his heart and replace it. The third said he could remove his eyes and heal them. "If you can do that," said the innkeeper, "you have learned everything."

They possessed a special salve that could join parts together, carried in a small bottle. As promised, they cut off the hand, heart, and eyes, placed them on a plate, and gave it to the innkeeper.

The innkeeper entrusted the plate to a maid, instructing her to lock it safely in a cupboard. The maid, however, had a secret lover—a soldier. That night, after everyone was asleep, the soldier came seeking food. The maid opened the cupboard, fetched him a meal, but in her distraction, forgot to close the door. As they sat chatting contentedly, a cat crept in, stole the surgeons' organs from the open cupboard, and ran off.

When the soldier finished eating and the maid went to clear up, she discovered the empty plate. In panic, she cried to her lover, "Woe is me! The hand, heart, and eyes are gone! What will become of me in the morning?"

"Be calm," said the soldier. "I will help you. A thief hangs on the gallows outside. I will cut off his hand. Which one was it?" "The right one," she said. He took a sharp knife, cut off the thief's right hand, and brought it to her.

Next, he caught the cat and gouged out its eyes. Only the heart remained missing. "Have you not been slaughtering? Are there not dead pigs in the cellar?" he asked. "Yes," she replied. "Good," he said, and fetched a pig's heart. The maid arranged all the replacements on the plate, returned it to the cupboard, and after her lover left, went quietly to bed.

In the morning, the surgeons demanded their plate. The maid brought it, and the first attached the thief's hand with his salve, and it fused instantly. The second inserted the cat's eyes into his sockets. The third placed the pig's heart firmly in his chest. The innkeeper watched in awe, praising their skill and vowing to recommend them. The surgeons paid their bill and continued their journey.

On the road, strange behaviors emerged. The one with the pig's heart kept running to corners, rooting in the dirt like a pig. The others could not restrain him. The one with the cat's eyes rubbed his eyes and complained, "Comrades, what is wrong? I cannot see. Lead me, lest I fall." They struggled on until evening, reaching another inn.

In the bar, a rich man sat counting money. The surgeon with the thief's hand circled him, twitched his arm, and when the man looked away, snatched a handful of coins. A comrade scolded him, "You must not steal!" "Alas," he replied, "my hand twitches, and I am forced to snatch things against my will."

Later that night, in pitch darkness, the one with the cat's eyes awoke the others. "Brothers, look! Do you see the white mice scurrying about?" The other two saw nothing. He concluded, "Things are not right. We did not get back what is ours. The innkeeper deceived us."

The next morning, they returned and confronted the innkeeper. They explained: the first had a thief's hand, the second cat's eyes, and the third a pig's heart. The innkeeper blamed the maid, but she had fled out the back door upon seeing them return. The surgeons demanded a large sum of money as compensation, threatening to burn down the inn. The innkeeper gave them all he had and could gather. It was enough for them to live on for the rest of their lives, but they would have much preferred to have their own proper organs.

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