Competitive Conversion | 竞争性皈依

点击查看中英对照

A priest, a Southern Baptist preacher, and a rabbi served as chaplains at Northern Michigan University. They met regularly for coffee and conversation.

One day, they mused that preaching to people was easy; the real challenge would be preaching to a bear. Spurred on, they decided on an experiment: each would go into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

A week later, they reconvened to share their experiences.

Father Flannery, his arm in a sling and on crutches, spoke first. "I found a bear and began reading from the Catechism," he said. "He wanted nothing to do with me and started slapping me around. So I grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him, and—Holy Mary, Mother of God—he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next from his wheelchair, with limbs in casts and an IV drip. In fiery oratory, he declared, "Brothers, you KNOW we don't sprinkle! I found my bear and began reading from God's HOLY WORD! But he wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to WRESTLE. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. He became as gentle as a lamb, and we spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

The priest and the reverend then looked at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed in a body cast and traction, hooked up to IVs and monitors. He was in terrible shape.

The rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

阅读记录
请先 登录 后记录阅读完成
为这篇文章评分
点击星星进行评分(1-5分)
相关文章
The Evangelist | 福音传教士

A couple follows a TV evangelist's healing instructions, ...

adult-humor dialogue
Are You Gay? | 你是同性恋吗?

A man in hell is promised enjoyable days for his vices (s...

dialogue humor
Mother Teresa in Heaven | 天堂里的特蕾莎修女

A humorous tale where Mother Teresa, after a life of piet...

dialogue humor
Surgeons' Coffee Break | 外科医生的咖啡闲谈

Four surgeons humorously compare the ease of operating on...

beginner dialogue
All Lawyers Are Assholes! | 所有律师都是混蛋!

A joke about a bar patron who objects to a sweeping insul...

dialogue humor
Three Surgeons | 三位外科医生

Three surgeons boast about their miraculous surgeries, ea...

dialogue english-learning
The Mars Mission Interview | 火星任务面试

NASA interviews three professionals for a one-way Mars mi...

dialogue humor
I Know Who God Is! | 我知道上帝是谁了!

A boy tries to understand God's nature by asking about ge...

cultural-icon dialogue
Ounces of Brain for Sale | 论盎司售卖的脑

A man inquires about the price of professional brains at ...

dialogue humor
Dummy vs Dummy | 木偶与傻瓜

A ventriloquist's blonde joke is interrupted by a blonde ...

dialogue humor
The Interview | 面试

A desperate applicant repeatedly lowers his job expectati...

career dialogue
A Brain Transplant | 脑移植手术

A patient is offered a choice between a psychologist's br...

brain dialogue
Saint and Sinner | 圣徒与罪人

A Salvation Army officer attributes his reform to Divine ...

dialogue irony
Redneck's Birth Control | 红脖子的避孕方式

A father misunderstands the term "sexually active" when t...

culture dialogue
Heaven or Hell? | 天堂还是地狱?

Bill Gates gets to choose between Heaven and Hell after d...

afterlife dialogue
A Brain Transplant | 大脑移植

A patient is quoted vastly different prices for a psychol...

brain-surgery dialogue
Plane Conversation | 飞机上的对话

A boy uses a clever analogy about animal digestion to hum...

anecdote conversation
What is 1+2? | 一加二等于几?

A humorous take on how different professionals might answ...

dialogue humor
Love Beyond Words | 无法言说的爱

A humorous dialogue where a boy's claim of "love beyond w...

beginner dialogue
The Best Stimulant | 最佳兴奋剂

A patient asks his doctor for a stimulant to feel excited...

dialogue everyday-life