A man recovering from open-heart surgery in a Catholic hospital was asked by a nun how he intended to pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?" she inquired.
"No health insurance," he whispered hoarsely.
"Do you have money in the bank?"
"No money in the bank."
"Do you have a relative who could help you?"
"I only have a spinster sister," he replied, "who is a nun."
The nun, visibly agitated, corrected him loudly: "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
"Well, in that case," the patient said, "send the bill to my brother-in-law!"