A man stood before St. Peter at the pearly gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man replied. "On a trip to the Black Hills in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers threatening a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but they ignored me.
So I walked up to the largest, most heavily tattooed biker, smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, threw it on the ground, and said, 'Leave her alone now, or you'll answer to me.'"
St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"
"Just a couple of minutes ago."