Two Russian hunters meet. "I shot a gigantic bear yesterday," says Ivan. "Look at the hide!"
"How do you find such huge bears?" Sergei asks.
"Easy," says Ivan. "You stand in front of a cave and whistle. When the bear comes out, you shoot."
Weeks later the two meet again. Sergei is covered in bandages. "Didn't you follow my advice?" Ivan asks.
"Sure I did. I stood in front of a cave and whistled," Sergei replies.
"And what came out?"
"To me," says Sergei, "it looked like the Trans-Siberian Express."