In a small, pretty village in Nottinghamshire, there formerly lived a respectable Squire. He excelled all his friends in athletic amusements, and his manner of living was far from ascetic.
He had taken a wife for better or worse, whose temper proved an intolerable curse. To his great and unspeakable joy, she died while giving birth to a fine little boy.
Strange fancies men have. The father designed to watch over the dawn of his son's youthful mind, ensuring it was approached only by the masculine gender, leaving no room for tenderer feelings. "Had I never seen a woman," he would often sigh, "What Squire in the country so happy as I!"
The boy was intelligent, active, and bright, taking uncommon delight in his studies. No juvenile follies distracted his mind; no visions of bright eyes or unkind damsels, nor those fair, demisisterly beings so gay—yclept pretty cousins—ever popped in his way. At length, this remarkably singular son reached the age of twenty-one.
The father had settled that his promising son should conclude his studies at twenty-one. With a heart beating high with emotion, he went to launch the young man on life's turbulent ocean.
As they entered the town, a young maiden tripped by, with a cheek like a rose and a light, laughing eye. "O father, what's that?" cried the youth with delight, as this vision of loveliness burst on his sight.
"O, that," cried the cautious and politic Squire, who did not admire the youth's ardent glances, "is only a thing called a Goose, my dear son. We shall see many more ere our visit is done."
Blooming damsels now passed with their butter and cheese, whose beauty might even please an anchorite. "Merely geese!" said the Squire. "Don't mind them, my dear. There are many things better worth looking at here."
As they passed onwards, every step brought to view some spectacle equally curious and new. The joy of the youth hardly knew any bounds at the rope-dancers, tumblers, and merry-go-rounds.
As soon as the tour of the town was completed, the father resolved that the boy should be treated. Pausing an instant, he said, "My dear son, a new era in your life has begun today. Now, of all this bright scene and its gaieties, choose whatever you like. It is yours from this minute."
"Choose whatever I like?" cried the youthful recluse. "O, thank you, dear father. Then give me a goose!"