A woman was busy making an Irish stew when her husband came in from work and offered to help her.
"You can't help much," said the woman, "but you might get me a turnip."
"What size?" asked the man.
"Oh, about the size of your head," said the woman, irritably.
The man was away for some time, and then he came back carrying a turnip. His wife received him with a broad grin.
"What are you laughing at?" he asked.
"Why," said the wife, "Jack Smith called to tell me that he'd seen you in the field at the back trying your hat on a lot of turnips."