A drunk man was proudly showing off his new apartment to two friends late one night.
He led them to his bedroom, where a large brass gong and a mallet stood.
"What's with that big brass gong?" one guest asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?" his friend asked, astonished.
"Yup," said the drunk.
"How does it work?" the friend inquired, squinting at it.
"Watch," the drunk replied.
He picked up the mallet, struck the gong with an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three men stood looking at each other for a moment.
Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall screamed, "Hey, jerk! It's one-fifteen in the morning!"