The prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly woman, to the stand. Approaching her, he asked, "Do you know me, Mrs. Jackson?"
"I certainly do, Mr. Craine, since you were a small boy," she responded. "You've been a great disappointment. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people, and are a hypocrite. You think you're a big shot, but you're just a paper-pusher. You bet I know you."
Stunned, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jackson, do you know the defense attorney?"
She replied, "Yes. I used to babysit Mr. Nelson. He, too, has been a disappointment. He has a drinking problem, is lazy, a bigot, and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in town. Yes, I know him."
The judge silenced the uproar and called both attorneys to the bench. Giving them an evil eye, he whispered, "If either of you dares ask her if she knows me, you will be jailed for contempt!"