A man facing an investigation by the Inland Revenue asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.
"Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied.
He then asked his lawyer the same question and received opposite advice.
"Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."
Confused, the man sought counsel from a friend, explaining the conflicting advice.
"Let me tell you a story," his friend replied. "A woman about to be married asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. Her mother said, 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' When she asked her best friend, she was told, 'Wear your sexiest negligee, with a V-neck right down to your navel.'"
The man asked, "What does this have to do with my problem with the IR?"
His friend replied, "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."