A nun was waiting for her flight to Chicago at the airport. She noticed a fortune-telling weight machine in the corner and decided to try it.
She inserted a nickel. The card read: "You're a nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You're going to Chicago, Illinois." Skeptical, she thought it gave the same reading to everyone and decided to try again.
A second card read: "You're a nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You're going to Chicago, Ill., and you're going to play a fiddle." She dismissed it, having never played an instrument. Just then, a cowboy set down his fiddle case nearby. She picked up the fiddle and began playing beautiful music. Amazed, she returned to the machine.
The third card predicted: "...you're going to break wind." She was sure this was wrong, but then she tripped, fell off the scales, and let out a loud fart. Stunned, she tried once more.
The fourth card stated: "...you're going to have sex." She laughed, certain this was impossible. However, a sudden electrical storm caused a blackout, during which she was raped.
After recovering, driven by morbid curiosity, she tried the machine one last time. The final card read: "You're a nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You have fiddled, farted, and fucked around... and missed your flight to Chicago!"