DAY ONE
Tuesday, June 15
At high noon, a large spaceship landed on the White House lawn. It rested for five hours as the world watched in suspense. At 5:00 p.m., a small door opened, and a creature named Mooba emerged. About three feet tall with feather-like appendages, he spoke perfect English: "Take me to your esteemed leader."
Before the President, Mooba introduced himself as a translator for the ancient Xxlepis race. He warned that the Xxlepis, though intellectually advanced, were emotionally fragile and easily offended. The meeting ended with the promise of more instruction the next day.
DAY TWO
Wednesday, June 16
Mooba appeared in the secured meeting room on his own, unnerving the security team. He instructed the President on Xxlepis etiquette: bow, then remain silent, allowing Mooba to speak. He explained that the Xxlepis valued words above all, seeking new forms of expression across the universe for their poetry. They cherished intangible things like honor and joy, as these inspired countless words. Mooba expressed concern that human culture valued material things over words, which the Xxlepis would not understand. He enjoyed coffee and donuts immensely and showed a curious affinity for the President's dog, Sally.
DAY THREE
Thursday, June 17
The Xxlepis were introduced to Earth. Three tall, robed figures emerged from the ship. Mooba presented a gift to the President on their behalf—a small container. The crowd cheered, and the first formal meeting concluded.
DAYS FOUR - TWENTY
Friday-Sunday, June 18-July 4
The gift contained miraculous bacteria that could cure deficiencies and promote health, easily reproduced for all. In return, at Mooba's suggestion, the President commissioned a compendium of Earth's sacred writings. Meanwhile, Xxlepis mania swept the planet. Their style became a fashion craze, and their name was commercialized into a global brand—an irony not lost on Mooba, as the Xxlepis themselves loved the nonmaterial.
DAY TWENTY-ONE
Monday, July 5
The President presented the lavish, gold-leafed book of sacred writings to the Xxlepis. Proudly, he mentioned that millions were spent to create "the most expensive book ever." Mooba's feathers quivered in alarm. Upon translation, the three Xxlepis immediately shoved the book back, made upset noises, and retreated into their ship at astonishing speed, followed by Mooba. Earth was stunned and confused.
DAY TWENTY-TWO
Tuesday, July 6
The spaceship left. Mooba, however, returned to the White House. He explained the fatal error: by putting a price on the gift, humans had rendered it worthless in the Xxlepis' eyes. They were horrified and insulted. When asked why he stayed, Mooba said he was due for a vacation and wanted some fun, unlike the word-obsessed Xxlepis. He then revealed a secret: "The Xxlepis will be back. Before their ship left I put a puppy on board."