Ms. Brooks, a first-grade teacher, was having trouble with a student named Harry.
"What's the problem, Harry?" she asked.
"I'm too smart for first grade," Harry replied. "My sister is in third grade, and I'm smarter than she is! I should be in third grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had heard enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited outside, she explained the situation.
The principal proposed a test. If Harry answered all questions correctly, he could advance to third grade. If he failed even one, he would return to first grade and behave. Ms. Brooks agreed.
Harry was brought in, agreed to the terms, and the test began.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
The principal continued with every question he thought a third-grader should know. Harry answered them all correctly.
The principal looked at Ms. Brooks. "I think Harry can go to third grade."
"May I ask him a few questions?" Ms. Brooks requested. Both the principal and Harry agreed.
Ms. Brooks: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry: (After a moment) "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Harry: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: "What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious, and contains a thin whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes widened, but before he could intervene, Harry answered.
Harry: "Bubblegum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down, and a dog do on three legs?"
Again, the principal looked alarmed, but Harry was quick.
Harry: "Shake hands."
Ms. Brooks: "Now for some 'What am I?' riddles, okay?"
Harry: "Sure."
Ms. Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."
Harry: "A tent."
Ms. Brooks: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first."
The principal began to look restless.
Harry: "A wedding ring."
Ms. Brooks: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good."
Harry: "A nose."
Ms. Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."
Harry: "An arrow."
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with 'F' and ends with 'K' and means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told Ms. Brooks, "Put Harry in the fifth grade. I got the last ten questions wrong myself."