Joe Schmidt, though very wealthy, was a notorious tightwad.
One day, he and his wife decided to take a sightseeing flight over New York City.
The pilot quoted a price of ten dollars per person for a thirty-minute flight. "How about ten dollars for both of us?" the stingy millionaire bargained. "No way!" the pilot replied firmly. Schmidt pleaded earnestly for some time. As it was a slow day with few customers, the pilot finally relented. "Alright, I'll take you and your wife for ten bucks, but on one condition: you must not make a single sound during the flight. If I hear a peep, it will cost you twenty dollars." Schmidt reluctantly agreed.
The plane took off smoothly. Deliberately, the pilot performed loops and all sorts of aerial tricks to scare his passengers. After landing, the pilot asked incredulously, "I have to hand it to you. I don't know how you managed to stay so quiet."
"It wasn't easy," confessed the tightwad. "I almost hollered when my wife fell out."