A man died and went to the Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, "Before you meet with God, I should tell you — we've reviewed your life, and you really didn't do anything particularly good or bad. We're not sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that might help us decide?"
The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, "Yes, once I was driving and came upon a woman being harassed by a group of bikers. I pulled over, grabbed my tire iron, and confronted the leader. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy covered in tattoos with a nose ring. I tore the ring out of his nose and told him and his gang to stop bothering the woman, or they'd have to deal with me!"
"I'm impressed," St. Peter responded. "When did this happen?"
"About two minutes ago," came the reply.