English Translation
- Walk your own road, and let others talk.
- One catty of watermelon, please weigh it accurately.
- When a scientist knows martial arts, even hooligans can't stop him.
- If you don't know him, you've never eaten pork.
- Haven't eaten for days; everyone starts to look like a pancake to me.
- Tickets are 20 yuan, but causing a ruckus costs 16,000. Laugh again and I'll charge extra.
- Just as we were talking, Bush's pager went off—it's an English display one.
- It's their family tradition: if you don't pick up something you find on the road, it counts as a loss.
- Your shameless look quite resembles my charm when I was young.
- You're in great shape! One look and I can tell you'll live until you die.
- This young man... if you cover his face, he looks just like an actor.
- The only difference between me and Superman is that I wear my underwear inside.
- Last time I got drunk, I mistook chopsticks for chicken feet and ate one and a half.
- "Dad, I'm hungry!" "Hungry again? Didn't you eat last year?"
- I can throw the shot put really far. But the coach said, 'It doesn't count if you go out with it!'
- Nobody leave after the show! I'm treating everyone to dinner—whoever goes pays.
- (Isn't that blonde hair and blue eyes?) Nonsense! This is blonde hair, and (he's) keeping his eyes closed.
- His brain is the size of a pine nut. Open his skull and you'll find just a bowl of stewed organs.
- Would you like to listen, would you like to listen, or would you like to listen? I won't force you.
- Hah! He talks back to me! You think I don't dare to stew you? If we had a big enough pot at home, I'd have stewed you long ago.
- Arriving in Heaven, the architecture is beautiful. There's a sign on both sides: 'No vending within 100 meters of Heaven!'
- Craving a burger? Wrap it in paper and unwrap it to eat. Craving crab? Just take off the shell. Craving milk? Just pinch a bit off a steamed bun...
- Today's story isn't from long ago. Those with elders at home can go ask them—it happened during the Spring and Autumn and Warring States period...
- I bought 50 fine cars—Alto, Alto, Alto...! Tied them together with wire, and driving them is just like a train!
- There was this senior, very successful. He robbed 1.83 million in cash. When the police arrived at 5:40 PM, he was still stuck in traffic on the North Third Ring Road.
- No door can bar him, no lock can hold him. Even a bank's safety lock—he can pick it open with a stalk of celery.
- We got lost halfway. He took out a bunch of instruments, a compass pointing north, south, east, west... I said, 'That's outdated. We need an advanced method—throw a shoe.'
- You don't even like Zhajiangmian (noodles with soybean paste)? You've forgotten your roots!!!
- I've been an artist for over a week now.
- Spent 200 coins on a little piggy. It goes 'squeak squeak' drinking water, 'crunch crunch' eating beans. Toss it over the wall—'squeak!' Guess what? It died!