A judge in his golden years found retirement too dull. He volunteered as a librarian at his local branch.
A week later, his supervisor, a stern woman in her sixties, called him into her office. She cleared her throat and said, "I appreciate that as a judge you were stern with lawbreakers, and you bring that to your new job, which is commendable. But when someone has an overdue fine, you can't just..."
The judge interrupted, "I had to throw the book at him, or he'd think I was soft."
"I know," replied the librarian, "but the Oxford English Dictionary?"