At the age of 83, my grandfather went to the hospital for the first time. "What is this?" he asked, holding up the bell cord fastened to his pillow.
"That's the call bell, Granddad," I replied.
He pulled it several times, then remarked, "I don't hear it ringing."
"Oh, it doesn't ring," I explained. "It turns on a light in the hallway for the nurse."
"Well!" he replied indignantly. "If the nurse wants a light on in the hall, she can turn it on herself."