After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way to keep the spark of love alive. I started going out with another woman—my wife's idea.
"I know you love her," she said one day, surprising me. "But I love you," I protested. "I know," she replied, "but you also love her."
The "other woman" was my mother, a widow for 19 years. Work and family demands meant I visited her only occasionally. That night, I called to invite her to dinner and a movie. "What's wrong? Are you well?" she asked, suspecting bad news from a late call. "I thought it would be nice to spend time together, just the two of us," I responded. After a moment's thought, she said, "I would like that very much."
That Friday, I was nervous driving to pick her up. She waited by the door, coat on, also seeming nervous. She had curled her hair and wore the dress from her last wedding anniversary. Her face was radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends I was going out with my son," she said, getting into the car. "They were impressed and can't wait to hear about it."
We went to a restaurant that was cozy, if not elegant. My mother took my arm like the First Lady. At the table, I read the menu aloud as her eyes could only manage large print. Midway, I looked up to see her staring at me with a nostalgic smile. "I used to read the menu for you when you were small," she said. "Then it's time you relaxed and let me return the favor," I replied.
Our conversation over dinner was pleasant—catching up on our lives, nothing extraordinary. We talked so much we missed the movie. Dropping her off, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if I can invite you next time." I agreed.
"How was your date?" my wife asked when I got home. "Very nice. Much better than I imagined," I answered.
A few days later, my mother died suddenly of a massive heart attack. I had no chance to do more for her. In that moment, I understood the urgency of saying "I love you" and giving loved ones the time they deserve. Nothing is more important than family. Don't put it off for "some other time."