An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."
Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliefs, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."
A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."