For years, Tom Anderson's life was withered by the memory of his role in a fraternity adventure that led to a classmate's death. His marriage ended after six years. Then, his life turned around: his wife Betty returned, and he secured a good position. He later revealed the catalyst for this change.
"I used to think, 'Nothing can undo what I have done.' The guilt would halt me mid-smile or handshake and built a wall between my wife and me," Tom said.
Then came an unexpected visit from the person he dreaded most—the mother of the deceased classmate. "Years ago," she said, "through prayer, I found it in my heart to forgive you. Betty forgave you. So did your friends and employers." She paused, then said sternly, "You are the one person who hasn't forgiven Tom Anderson. Who do you think you are to stand out against the people of this town and the Lord Almighty?"
"I looked into her eyes," Tom recalled, "and found a kind of permission to be the person I might have been if her son had lived. For the first time in my adult life, I felt worthy to love and be loved."
It is only through forgiving our mistakes that we gain the freedom to learn from experience. However, forgiving our shortcomings does not mean denying them. On the contrary, it means facing them honestly and realistically.
Can one be all-forgiving and still be human? A scientist I know was a slave laborer in Germany for four years. His parents were killed by Nazi bullies; his siblings were sent to the gas chambers. He has every reason to hate, yet he radiates a love for life that touches everyone he meets.
He explained: "In the beginning, I was filled with hatred. Then I realized that in hating, I had become my own enemy. Unless you forgive, you cannot love. And without love, life has no meaning."
Forgiveness is truly the saving grace.