After a week's absence, a mountain man staggered home, his clothes torn and shoes worn thin. He was utterly exhausted.
"Where have you been?" asked his wife.
"I went into the woods to check the still," replied the man. "A giant bear stepped out in front of me. I took off running and finally lost him. I've never run so fast in my life."
"But that was a week ago," said his wife. "Where have you been since?"
The mountain man collapsed into a chair. "Walking back."