It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions, you may need some help understanding the commands.
The Alabama edition may be recognized by its opening screen, which reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It includes a Daisy Duke screen saver. Key interface elements have been renamed:
- Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
- My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
- Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
- Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
- Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive
- Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs
Other notable features:
- Error messages are replaced by a window covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
- Standard commands are translated into a regional dialect:
- OK = ats aww-right
- Cancel = hail no
- Reset = aw shoot
- Yes = shore
- No = Naaaa
- Find = hunt-fer it
- Go to = over yonder
- Back = back yonder
- Help = hep me out here
- Stop = ternit off
- Start = crank it up
- Settings = sittins
- Programs = stuff at does stuff
- Documents = stuff I done done
WINDERS 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
Exclusive programs include:
- tiperiter – A word processor
- colering book – A graphics program
- addin mershene – Calculator
- outhouse paper – Notepad
- jupe-box – CD Player
- inner-net – Microsoft Explorer
- pichers – A graphics viewer
- IRS & IRS2 – M/S accounting software
We regret any inconvenience caused if you received a copy of the Alabama edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.