A man driving through the backwoods of Tennessee sees a sign in front of a dilapidated house: "Talking Dog For Sale."
He rings the bell, and the owner directs him to the backyard. There, he finds a handsome Labrador Retriever. "You talk?" the man asks.
"Yep," the dog replies.
Recovering from his shock, the man asks, "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "I discovered I could talk when I was young. Wanting to help the government, I contacted the CIA. Soon, I was jetting between countries, sitting with spies and world leaders—no one suspects a dog of eavesdropping. I was one of their top spies for eight years."
"But the constant travel wore me out, and I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I took an undercover security job at the airport, listening in on suspicious characters. I uncovered some incredible schemes and earned a batch of medals. Then I got married, had a bunch of puppies, and now I'm retired."
The amazed man goes back to the owner and asks the price. "Ten dollars," says the owner.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why sell him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that."