English Original
I remember the first time I got on a horse. I was two years old, watching a family friend ride. My mom let me take a short ride around the arena, and that was it—I was horse crazy. From then on, I begged my parents incessantly for a horse.
When I was four, my life as I know it now began. I have Selective Mutism, a rare childhood disorder where children stop speaking in certain social situations. I spoke normally to my family but was silent at school and in social settings, sometimes going for months without a sound.
Children with Selective Mutism often cannot speak in the presence of others, even to those they know. It's not willful; speaking feels impossible. Many children are misunderstood and traumatized, especially at school. The disorder is anxiety-related, and treatment is challenging.
My parents searched for a cure. At ten, after seeing many psychologists, one had an idea. In a therapy session, he asked what I wanted more than anything in the world and said I'd have to work for it. I struggled to answer but finally whispered in my mother's ear: "A horse."
I was promised a pony, but first, I had to fulfill my end of the bargain: I had to try to talk. My tasks included answering the phone five times a week, calling friends, and saying one word to my teacher. For a child with Selective Mutism, each word felt like climbing Mount Everest.
I completed all my tasks. My parents found the perfect pony at a local stable. His name was Sequoia, a strong little chestnut with a white spot on his rump. I fell in love immediately. I learned to care for him, saddle him, and pick his hooves. Every Saturday, I eagerly awaited my lesson and free time with Sequoia. With him, I forgot my problems and felt strong and secure.
Horses are silent, yet powerful and free. They gave me strength when I had none. For over twenty years, horses have helped me cope with an isolating disorder. When things get tough, I go to my horses. With them, I can be silent yet hold my head high with dignity and freedom. By connecting with them, I learned to embrace what I was once shunned for and found my voice.
Today, I am a fully participating member of society. My horses and I made it through a master's degree and law school. I am a practicing attorney who appears in court. I may have succeeded otherwise, but I'm not sure. I feel I owe my life to horses and try to give back to them every day. I am grateful to see my beautiful horses from my back door and watch them run in their mountain pasture. I hope I never stop learning from them. They have given me the greatest gift imaginable: my life.
中文翻译
我记得第一次骑上马背的情景。那时我两岁，看着一位家庭朋友骑马。妈妈让我在竞技场里骑了一小圈，就这样——我疯狂地爱上了马。从那以后，我开始不停地恳求父母给我一匹马。
四岁时，我如今所知的人生开始了。我患有选择性缄默症，这是一种罕见的儿童期障碍，患儿在特定社交场合会停止说话。我能正常与家人交流，但在学校和社交场合却保持沉默，有时数月不发一声。
患有选择性缄默症的孩子常常无法在他人面前说话，即使是对熟悉的人。这不是故意的；说话感觉是不可能的。许多孩子被误解并受到创伤，尤其是在学校。这种障碍与焦虑有关，治疗颇具挑战。
我的父母四处寻医问药。十岁时，在看了许多心理医生后，其中一位想出了一个办法。在一次治疗中，他问我世界上最想要什么，并说我必须为之努力。我挣扎着无法回答，但最终在母亲耳边低语：“一匹马。”
我得到了一匹小马的承诺，但首先，我必须履行我的约定：我必须尝试说话。我的任务包括每周接五次电话、给朋友打电话、对老师说一个字。对一个患有选择性缄默症的孩子来说，每个字都像攀登珠穆朗玛峰一样艰难。
我完成了所有任务。我的父母在当地马场找到了一匹完美的小马。他叫红杉，是一匹强壮的小栗色马，臀部有一块白斑。我立刻爱上了他。我学会了照顾他、给他备鞍、清理蹄子。每个星期六，我都迫不及待地等待我的课程以及与红杉共度的自由时光。和他在一起，我忘记了所有烦恼，感到坚强和安全。
马是沉默的，却又强大而自由。在我缺乏力量时，它们给了我力量。二十多年来，马一直帮助我应对这种令人孤立和恐惧的障碍。当事情变得艰难时，我就去找我的马。和它们在一起，我可以保持沉默，但同时可以昂首挺胸，拥有尊严和自由。通过与它们建立联系，我学会了接纳曾经因此被回避的特质，并找到了自己的声音。
如今，我已是社会的完全参与者。我和我的马一起完成了硕士学位和法学院学业。我是一名执业律师，甚至出庭辩护。我或许能以其他方式成功，但我不确定。我觉得我欠马一条命，并努力每天回报它们。我很幸运能从后门看到我美丽的马儿回望着我，也很感激每天能看到它们在山上牧场奔跑。我希望我永远不会停止向它们学习。它们给了我所能想象的最好的礼物：我的生命。