English Original
Two men are at a bar. One says, "Did you hear the news? Mike is dead!"
"Whoa, what happened?" asks the other.
"Well, he was coming to my house the other day. He didn't brake properly, hit the curb, and the car flipped. He flew out through the sunroof and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."
"What a horrible way to die!"
"No, he survived that. He landed in my bedroom, covered in glass. He spotted an old antique wardrobe and tried to pull himself up using the handle. Just then, the massive wardrobe crashed down on him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."
"What a terrible way to go!"
"No, he survived that too. He got the wardrobe off, crawled out to the landing, and tried to pull himself up on the banister. It broke under his weight, and he fell to the first floor. In mid-air, the broken banister poles spun and fell on him, pinning him to the floor."
"Now that's the most unfortunate way to go!"
"No, he even survived that. He crawled into the kitchen, tried to pull himself up on the stove, but grabbed a big pot of boiling water instead. The whole thing came down on him, burning most of his skin off."
"Man, what a way to go!"
"No, he survived that! Lying there, covered in boiling water, he spotted the phone and tried to pull himself up to call for help. Instead, he grabbed the light switch, pulled it off the wall, and got electrocuted—10,000 volts shot through him."
"Now that is one awful way to go!"
"No, he survived that..."
"Hold on," the other man interrupts. "Just how did he die?"
"I shot him!" the first man exclaims.
"You shot him? Why on earth did you shoot him?"
"The son of a gun was wrecking my house!"
中文翻译
两个男人在酒吧里。一个说：“你听说了吗？迈克死了！”
“哇，怎么回事？”另一个问道。
“嗯，那天他正来我家。他没刹好车，撞上了路缘，车翻了。他从天窗飞了出去，砸穿了我楼上的卧室窗户。”
“多可怕的死法！”
“不，他活下来了。他落在我的卧室里，浑身是玻璃。他看到一个大古董衣柜，想抓住把手把自己拉起来。就在这时，那个巨大的衣柜倒下来压住了他，把他压垮了，还弄断了他大部分骨头。”
“多惨的死法！”
“不，那个他也活下来了。他把衣柜弄开，爬到楼梯平台，想抓住栏杆站起来。栏杆承受不住他的重量断了，他摔到了一楼。在半空中，那些断掉的栏杆旋转着落在他身上，把他钉在了地板上。”
“这真是最倒霉的死法了！”
“不，那个他也活下来了。他爬进厨房，想扶着炉子站起来，却抓住了一大锅沸水。整锅水倒在他身上，把他大部分皮肤都烫掉了。”
“天哪，这死法！”
“不，那个他也活下来了！他躺在地上，浑身是沸水，看到了电话，想爬起来求救。结果他抓住了电灯开关，把它从墙上扯了下来，水电相遇，他被电击了——一万伏特的电流穿过了他。”
“这死法太可怕了！”
“不，那个他也活下来了……”
“等等，”另一个男人打断道，“那他到底是怎么死的？”
“我开枪打死了他！”第一个男人喊道。
“你开枪打他？你到底为什么开枪打他？”
“那个混蛋在毁我的房子！”