English Original
- The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
- You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.
- You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
- You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
- Jack Daniel's makes your list of "Most Admired People."
- You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
- You wonder how gas stations keep their restrooms so clean.
- Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!"
- Your Junior/Senior prom had a daycare.
- You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
- The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
- Ya' can't git married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a dang law against it.
- You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
- Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
中文翻译
- 你家前廊的万圣节南瓜，牙齿都比你的配偶多。
- 你让你12岁的女儿当着她孩子的面在桌上抽烟。
- 你结了三次婚，亲家还是同一拨人。
- 你以为“高攀不起”的女人是在另一晚打保龄球。
- 杰克·丹尼威士忌上了你的“最受钦佩人物”榜。
- 你以为“Genitalia”（生殖器）是意大利的航空公司。
- 你纳闷加油站怎么能把厕所保持得那么干净。
- 你家有人刚说完“嘿，大伙儿瞧好了！”就一命呜呼了。
- 你的高中毕业舞会还附设了日托中心。
- 你在浴室划了根火柴，你的房子就炸得脱离了轮子。
- 你卡车的蓝皮书价值随油箱里剩多少油而上下波动。
- 你没法儿跟心上人结婚，因为有条该死的法律禁止。（暗示近亲关系）
- 你以为“把碗装进洗碗机”的意思是把你老婆灌醉。
- 你家的厕纸上印着页码。