English Original
Once upon a time, there were three houses in a row. In one lived a tailor, in another a carpenter, and in the third a smith. All three were married, and their wives were very good friends. They often talked about how foolish their husbands were, but they could never agree on whose husband was the most foolish. Each wife defended her own, insisting it was he.
The three wives went to church together every Sunday, enjoying a good gossip on the way. On their return, they always stopped at a roadside tavern to share half a pint of brandy. At that time, half a pint cost threepence, so each paid a penny.
When the price rose to fourpence, they were annoyed. With only three of them, none wanted to pay the extra penny. As they walked home from church that day, they decided to make a wager. The one who, by the following Sunday, was judged to have played the greatest trick on her husband would thereafter drink for free, while the other two would each pay twopence for their Sunday half-pint.
The next day, the tailor's wife told her husband, "Some girls are coming to help card my wool today. We'll be very busy. I'm annoyed our watchdog is dead, as young fellows will come to flirt with the girls and nothing will get done. A fierce watchdog would keep them away."
"Yes," said the man, "that would be good."
"Listen," said his wife, "you must be the watchdog yourself and scare them away."
Though hesitant, the tailor was usually ready to give in to her. "Oh yes, you'll see it will work," she insisted. That evening, she dressed him in a shaggy fur coat, tied a black woolen cloth around his head, and chained him beside the dog's kennel. There he stood, barking and growling at everyone nearby. The neighbor wives knew all about it and were greatly amused.
The day after, the carpenter came home from work quite merry. As soon as he entered, his wife clapped her hands and cried, "My dear, what's wrong? You look ill!"
The carpenter felt fine and only wanted dinner. He sat down to eat, but his wife sat opposite him, folded her hands, shook her head, and looked at him anxiously.
"You're getting worse, my dear," she said. "You're quite pale. You have a serious illness; I can see it in your looks."
The husband grew anxious and began to think he might not be well. "No, indeed," she said. "It's high time you were in bed."
She made him lie down, piled all the bedclothes she could find on him, and gave him various medicines. He felt worse and worse.
"You'll never get over it," she said. "I'm afraid you're going to die."
"Do you think so?" said the carpenter. "I can well believe it, for I am indeed very poorly."
Soon she said, "Ah, now I must part with you. Here comes Death. Now I must close your eyes." And she did so.
The carpenter believed everything his wife said, so he now believed he was dead. He lay still and let her do as she pleased. She summoned her neighbors, and they helped lay him in a coffin—one he had made himself. His wife had bored holes in it for air. She made a soft bed for him, put a coverlet over him, and folded his hands on his chest. Instead of a flower or a psalm-book, she placed a pint-bottle of brandy in his hands. After lying there a while, he took a sip, then another and another. It seemed to do him good, and soon he was sleeping sweetly, dreaming he was in heaven.
Meanwhile, word spread through the village that the carpenter was dead and would be buried the next day.
Now it was the smith's wife's turn. Her husband was sleeping off a drinking bout. She pulled off all his clothes, made him black as coal from head to foot, and let him sleep late into the day.
The funeral party had already gathered at the carpenter's house and was marching toward the church with the coffin when the smith's wife rushed in to her husband.
"Gracious, man!" she said. "Are you still lying there? You've slept too long. You know you're going to the funeral."
The smith was confused; he knew nothing about a funeral.
"It's our neighbor the carpenter," said his wife. "He's to be buried today. They're already halfway to church with him."
"All right," said the smith. "Make haste and help me on with my black clothes."
"What nonsense!" said his wife. "You have them on already. Be off with you now."
The smith looked down and saw he was much blacker than usual. He grabbed his hat and ran after the funeral. The procession was near the church, and the smith, wanting to help carry the coffin like a good neighbor, ran with all his might and shouted, "Hey! Wait a little! Let me get a hold of him!"
The people turned, saw the black figure coming, and thought it was the devil himself come to take the carpenter. They threw down the coffin and ran for their lives.
The lid sprang off with the shock, and the carpenter woke up and looked out. He remembered everything; he knew he was dead and was being buried. Recognizing the smith, he said in a low voice, "My good neighbor, if I hadn't been dead already, I should have laughed myself to death now to see you coming like this to my funeral."
From that time forth, the carpenter's wife drank free every Sunday, for the others had to admit she had fooled her husband the best.
中文翻译
从前，有三座房子并排而立。一座住着裁缝，一座住着木匠，第三座住着铁匠。三人都已婚，他们的妻子是非常要好的朋友。她们经常谈论自己的丈夫有多蠢，但永远无法达成共识，到底谁的丈夫最蠢。每个妻子都维护自己的丈夫，坚称就是他。
这三个妻子每个星期日都一起去教堂，路上总要好好闲聊一番。回来的路上，她们总会拐进路边的一家小酒馆，分享半品脱白兰地。那时候，半品脱白兰地值三便士，所以每人正好付一便士。
后来白兰地涨价了，酒馆老板说半品脱必须收四便士。她们对此非常恼火，因为只有三个人分摊，谁也不愿意多付那一便士。那天从教堂回家的路上，她们决定打个赌：到下个星期日为止，谁被认定对自己的丈夫耍了最绝的把戏，谁以后就可以免付酒钱，而另外两人则需各付两便士来买星期日的半品脱酒。
第二天，裁缝的妻子对丈夫说：“今天有几个姑娘要来帮我梳理羊毛，活儿很多，我们会非常忙。真烦人，我们的看门狗死了，晚上那些小伙子会来和姑娘们调情，什么活儿也干不成。要是有条凶猛的看门狗，就能把他们赶走了。”
“是啊，”男人说，“那倒不错。”
“听着，好人儿，”妻子说，“你就自己来当看门狗，把那些家伙从家里吓跑。”
裁缝对此不太确定，尽管平时他总是对她言听计从。“哦，放心吧，你会看到这招管用的，”妻子坚持道。于是快到傍晚时，她给裁缝穿上一件毛茸茸的皮外套，在他头上缠了一块黑色羊毛布，把他拴在狗窝旁边。他就站在那里，对着附近活动的每个人吠叫、低吼。邻居的妻子们全都知道这事，觉得非常有趣。
又过了一天，木匠干完活回家，心情相当愉快。但他一进门，妻子就拍着手喊道：“亲爱的，你怎么了？你看起来病了！”
木匠根本没觉得自己病了，只想吃点东西。他坐下来开始吃晚饭，但他的妻子直接坐在他对面，双手交叉，摇着头，忧心忡忡地看着他。
“你越来越糟了，亲爱的，”她说，“你现在脸色很苍白。你得了重病；我从你的脸色就能看出来。”
丈夫开始感到不安，心想自己可能真的不太舒服。“不，确实如此，”她说，“你早该上床躺着了。”
她让他躺下，把能找到的所有被褥都堆在他身上，还给他吃了各种药。他感觉越来越糟。
“你挺不过去了，”她说，“恐怕你要死了。”
“你这么认为吗？”木匠说，“我很相信，因为我确实非常虚弱。”
过了一会儿，她又说：“啊，现在我必须和你分别了。死神来了。现在我必须合上你的眼睛。”她照做了。
木匠相信妻子说的一切，所以他现在相信自己已经死了。他静静地躺着，任由她摆布。她叫来了邻居们，他们帮忙把他放进棺材里——那是他自己做的一口棺材。不过他的妻子在上面钻了些孔让他透气。她给他铺了软床，盖上被子，将他的双手交叉放在胸前。她没有放花或赞美诗集，而是在他手里放了一品脱瓶装的白兰地。躺了一会儿后，他喝了一小口，然后又是一口，又一口。他觉得这对他有好处，很快就甜甜地睡着了，梦见自己到了天堂。
与此同时，木匠死了、第二天要下葬的消息传遍了全村。
现在轮到铁匠的妻子了。她的丈夫正因宿醉而酣睡。她扒掉他所有的衣服，把他从头到脚弄得像煤一样黑，然后让他一直睡到大白天。
送葬的队伍已经在木匠家集合，抬着棺材向教堂进发了，这时铁匠的妻子冲进来找她的丈夫。
“天哪，你这人！”她说，“你还躺在这儿？你睡得太久了。你知道你要去参加葬礼的。”
铁匠很困惑；他对葬礼一无所知。
“是我们的邻居木匠，”他妻子说，“他今天要下葬。他们抬着他已经走到半路了。”
“好吧，”铁匠说，“快点帮我穿上黑衣服。”
“胡说八道！”他妻子说，“你已经穿上了。现在赶紧去吧。”
铁匠低头看了看自己，发现自己比平时黑得多。他抓起帽子就朝葬礼队伍追去。队伍已经快到教堂了，铁匠想像个好邻居一样帮忙抬棺材，于是用尽全力奔跑，并朝他们喊道：“嘿！等一下！让我也抬一下他！”
人们转过身，看到一个黑色的身影冲过来，以为是魔鬼亲自来抓木匠了。他们扔下棺材，拔腿就跑。
棺材盖因震动弹开了，木匠醒了过来，向外张望。他记起了整件事；他知道自己死了，正要被埋葬。他认出了铁匠，低声对他说：“我的好邻居，要不是我已经死了，现在看到你这样来参加我的葬礼，我非笑死不可。”
从那时起，木匠的妻子每个星期日都免费用酒，因为其他两人不得不承认，她把丈夫耍得最绝。