English Original
As I stood at the gate in the busy airport waiting for my plane, my mind went back to all the changes in my life during the past months. My marriage had crumbled, leaving me shattered and very confused. My dream of a happy home and children had been dashed. But somehow God was restoring my sense of purpose and desire to follow wherever he led.
It was just a few days before Christmas. In a matter of minutes, I would board the plane and be on my way to Russia to adopt a six-month-old baby girl.
How it had all happened was amazing in itself. I remember sitting in the living room with friends and quietly sharing my desire for a child. "Well, there's no reason why you can't still be a mother," my friend assured me. "Singles are now adopting."
I remember how I had smiled at the idea, reminding him that I wasn't young anymore.
"Oh, I don't think it will take that long," he responded, "and anyway, it doesn't hurt to ask."
With that, a seed of hope was planted that I could be a mother. In just six months, I was on my way to Russia to adopt a baby girl named Oksana. Questions flooded my mind. Would she be there when I arrived at the orphanage? Would she be healthy?
I continued to pray as I stuffed my baggage in the overhead compartment. I glanced again at the little picture I had of Oksana. "Lord, please lead me to other people going to Russia to adopt."
How I feared traveling alone, but there was no one to go with me.
Before long, in little snippets of conversation, I overheard the words "Russia," "babies" and "orphanage."
"Are you going to Moscow?" I asked the woman to my right.
"Yes, my husband and I are going to adopt two children."
"So am I!" I squealed. "I mean, I'm going to adopt a baby girl."
From then on, we both talked incessantly. I discovered that they were heading to the same orphanage to be met by the same coordinator. We became fast friends. I whispered a prayer of thanks to God for answering my earlier prayer.
When the plane landed in Moscow, it was cold and dreary. I immediately sensed the strangeness of the different culture and my language barrier. But then I met our coordinator, who turned out to be a very friendly Russian woman who spoke no English. Her big, warm hugs were so reassuring.
"Is Oksana there?" I asked, having heard stories of people getting to the orphanage, only to discover that the child was no longer there.
"Da," she answered with a twinkle in her eyes.
"When can we go to the orphanage?" I inquired, ready to go on the overnight train immediately.
"Soon," the translator said.
"By Christmas? Will I see her by Christmas?"
"Da. Da," she answered with a big grin.
I stayed in a simple apartment of a young couple and their three-month-old daughter, Anastasia. Their generosity was overwhelming. Although their living conditions were simple, they willingly shared what they had.
In just a few days, I left with two other couples to travel eight hours north. When we arrived at Borovitchy, we were tired but so excited. After only a few hours of sleep, we went to the orphanage. Walking inside the large brick building that was home to about 400 children, I whispered another prayer. "Just let her be healthy, Lord."
As I walked the long hall, I met staff members who were warm and friendly. I saw that the facilities were neat and clean. A tall Russian doctor joined us and smiled when he asked if I was ready to see Oksana.
Was I? I thought my heart was going to burst with such a strange combination of excitement, fear, longing, hope.
Together, we walked down the cement steps, through the long, narrow hall to the infants' room. They led me to a small room while they went to get the baby. In only a few moments, they were back.
Oh, I'll never forget that moment for as long as I live! They placed her warm little body in my arms and discreetly stepped out to leave us alone.
"Oh, my," I whispered in awe. "You are beautiful, darling."
I gazed at her big brown eyes and flawless skin. I held her hand in mine, counting each finger. I held her close and sang to her softly, "Jesus loves me." Time stood still.
It was a holy moment, a Christmas moment, a time when the Greatest Giver filled the arms of a hurting single woman with a priceless gift—a baby.
We left the orphanage on Christmas Eve at midnight. My tiny daughter, Noelle Joy Oksana Brani, was wrapped in a soft pink blanket. As I walked out into the night to catch the train back to Moscow, the snow was gently falling. And I thought I could hear the angels singing.
中文翻译
我站在繁忙机场的登机口等待航班，思绪回到了过去几个月里我生活中的所有变故。我的婚姻破碎了，让我心碎又迷茫。拥有一个幸福家庭和孩子的梦想破灭了。但不知何故，上帝正在恢复我的目标感，让我渴望跟随他的引领。
那时离圣诞节只有几天了。再过几分钟，我就要登机，前往俄罗斯领养一个六个月大的女婴。
这一切是如何发生的，本身就令人惊叹。我记得和朋友们坐在客厅里，轻声分享我想要一个孩子的愿望。“嗯，你仍然可以成为母亲，这没有理由，”我的朋友向我保证。“现在单身人士也可以领养了。”
我记得我当时对这个想法报以微笑，提醒他我已经不年轻了。
“哦，我觉得不会那么久的，”他回答说，“而且，问问也无妨。”
就这样，一颗希望的种子被种下：我可以成为母亲。仅仅六个月后，我就踏上了前往俄罗斯领养一个名叫奥克萨娜的女婴的旅程。问题涌入我的脑海。我到孤儿院时她会在那里吗？她会健康吗？
我把行李塞进头顶的行李舱，继续祈祷。我又看了一眼我拥有的奥克萨娜的小照片。“主啊，请引领我遇到其他去俄罗斯领养的人。”
我多么害怕独自旅行，但没有人能陪我一起去。
不久，从零星的对话片段中，我听到了“俄罗斯”、“婴儿”和“孤儿院”这些词。
“你是去莫斯科吗？”我问右边的女士。
“是的，我和我丈夫要去领养两个孩子。”
“我也是！”我尖声说道。“我是说，我要去领养一个女婴。”
从那时起，我们俩就不停地交谈。我发现他们要去同一家孤儿院，由同一位协调员接待。我们很快成了朋友。我低声向上帝祈祷，感谢他回应了我之前的祷告。
飞机降落在莫斯科时，天气寒冷阴郁。我立刻感受到了不同文化的陌生感和语言障碍。但随后我见到了我们的协调员，她是一位非常友好的俄罗斯女性，不会说英语。她大大的、温暖的拥抱是如此令人安心。
“奥克萨娜在那里吗？”我问道，曾听过有人到了孤儿院却发现孩子已经不在了的故事。
“是的，”她回答，眼中闪烁着光芒。
“我们什么时候可以去孤儿院？”我询问道，准备立刻搭乘夜班火车出发。
“很快，”翻译说。
“圣诞节前？我能在圣诞节前见到她吗？”
“是的。是的，”她咧嘴笑着回答。
我住在一对年轻夫妇和他们三个月大的女儿阿纳斯塔西娅的简陋公寓里。他们的慷慨令人感动。尽管生活条件简单，他们却乐意分享他们拥有的一切。
仅仅几天后，我和另外两对夫妇一起向北旅行了八个小时。当我们到达博罗维奇时，我们很累，但也非常兴奋。只睡了几个小时，我们就去了孤儿院。走进那座容纳着大约400个孩子的大型砖砌建筑时，我又低声祈祷了一次。“主啊，只愿她健康。”
当我走过长长的走廊时，遇到的员工都很热情友好。我看到设施整洁干净。一位高大的俄罗斯医生加入我们，微笑着问我是否准备好见奥克萨娜了。
我准备好了吗？我觉得我的心快要因为兴奋、恐惧、渴望和希望这种奇特的组合而爆裂了。
我们一起走下水泥台阶，穿过又长又窄的走廊，来到婴儿室。他们把我带进一个小房间，然后去抱孩子。只过了一会儿，他们就回来了。
哦，只要我活着，就永远不会忘记那一刻！他们将她温暖的小身体放入我的臂弯，然后体贴地退了出去，留我们独处。
“哦，天哪，”我敬畏地低语。“你真美，亲爱的。”
我凝视着她棕色的大眼睛和无瑕的肌肤。我把她的小手握在我的手里，数着每一根手指。我紧紧抱着她，轻声对她唱道：“耶稣爱我。”时间仿佛静止了。
那是一个神圣的时刻，一个圣诞节的时刻，是那位最伟大的赐予者，用一个无价的礼物——一个婴儿，填满了一位受伤的单身女性臂弯的时刻。
我们在平安夜午夜离开了孤儿院。我小小的女儿，诺埃尔·乔伊·奥克萨娜·布拉尼，裹在一条柔软的粉色毯子里。当我走进夜色中去赶回莫斯科的火车时，雪花轻轻飘落。我想我听到了天使在歌唱。