English Original
An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She is chatting to St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful bloodcurdling screams.
"Oh my goodness," says the old lady, "what is happening?"
"Don't worry about that," says St. Peter, "It's only someone having the holes bored on their shoulder blades for the wings."
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. Ten minutes later, there are more bloodcurdling screams.
"Oh my goodness," says the old lady, "now what is happening?"
"Not to worry," says St. Peter, "they are just having their head drilled to fit the halo."
Shaking her head, the old lady says, "I can't do this. I'm off down to hell."
"You can't go there," says St. Peter, "You'll be raped and sodomized."
"Sure," says the old lady, "but I've already got the holes for that!"
中文翻译
一位老太太去世后上了天堂。她正在天堂之门与圣彼得聊天，突然听到最可怕的、令人毛骨悚然的尖叫声。
"我的天哪，"老太太说，"发生什么事了？"
"别担心，"圣彼得说，"只是有人在肩胛骨上钻孔，为了装翅膀。"
老太太看起来有点不舒服，但还是继续聊天。十分钟后，又传来了更多令人毛骨悚然的尖叫。
"我的天哪，"老太太说，"现在又怎么了？"
"不用担心，"圣彼得说，"他们只是在钻脑袋，为了戴上光环。"
老太太摇摇头说："我受不了这个。我要下地狱去。"
"你不能去那里，"圣彼得说，"你会被强奸和鸡奸的。"
"当然，"老太太说，"但我已经有洞了！"