The Italian Bride | 意大利新娘

English Original

Maria, a traditional Italian newlywed, was still a virgin and inexperienced with men. On her wedding night at her mother's house, she felt nervous.

"Don't worry, Maria," her mother reassured her. "Tony is a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you."

Maria went upstairs. Tony removed his shirt, revealing a hairy chest. Startled, Maria ran back downstairs.

"Mama, Mama! Tony has a big, hairy chest!"

"Don't worry, Maria," her mother said. "All good men have hairy chests. Go back upstairs. He'll take good care of you."

Maria went up again. Tony then took off his pants, exposing his hairy legs. Maria hurried downstairs once more.

"Mama, Mama! Tony took off his pants, and he has hairy legs!"

"Don't worry, Maria. All good men have hairy legs. Tony is a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you."

Maria went upstairs for the third time. Tony removed his socks, revealing that he was missing most of three toes on his left foot. Seeing this, Maria rushed downstairs again.

"Mama, Mama! Tony has a foot and a half!"

"Stay here and stir the pasta," said her mother. "This is a job for Mama!"


中文翻译

玛丽亚是一位传统的意大利新娘,新婚之夜仍保持着童贞,对男性毫无经验。在母亲家度过新婚之夜的她,感到非常紧张。

“别担心,玛丽亚,”她的母亲安慰道。“托尼是个好男人。上楼去吧,他会照顾好你的。”

玛丽亚上了楼。托尼脱掉了衬衫,露出了毛茸茸的胸膛。玛丽亚吓了一跳,跑回楼下。

“妈妈,妈妈!托尼的胸膛又大又毛茸茸的!”

“别担心,玛丽亚,”她母亲说。“所有好男人都有毛茸茸的胸膛。回楼上去吧。他会好好照顾你的。”

玛丽亚又上去了。接着,托尼脱掉了裤子,露出了毛茸茸的双腿。玛丽亚再次匆忙跑下楼。

“妈妈,妈妈!托尼脱了裤子,他的腿也是毛茸茸的!”

“别担心,玛丽亚。所有好男人都有毛茸茸的腿。托尼是个好男人。上楼去,他会好好照顾你的。”

玛丽亚第三次上了楼。托尼脱掉了袜子,露出了左脚上缺了大部分三个脚趾的脚。看到这个,玛丽亚又冲下了楼。

“妈妈,妈妈!托尼只有一只半脚!”

“留在这儿搅拌意大利面,”她母亲说。“这个得妈妈亲自出马了!”

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