English Original
My childhood and adolescence were a joyous outpouring of energy, a ceaseless quest for expression, skill, and experience. School was merely a backdrop to the supreme delight of lessons in music, dance, and dramatics, and the thrill of sojourns in the country, theaters, and concerts.
And books—big Braille books that accompanied me on streetcars, to the table, and to bed. Then one night at a high school dance, a remark not intended for my ears stabbed my youthful bliss: "That girl, what a pity she is blind." Blind! That ugly word that implied everything dark, blank, rigid, and helpless. I quickly turned and called out, "Please don't feel sorry for me, I'm having lots of fun." But the fun was not to last.
With the advent of college, I was brought to grips with the problem of earning a living. Part-time teaching of piano and harmony, and upon graduation, occasional concerts and lectures, proved only partial sources of livelihood. The financial remuneration was disheartening relative to the time and effort involved. This induced searing self-doubt and dark moods of despondency. My dismal sense of inadequacy was compounded by repeatedly seeing my sisters and friends go off on exciting dates. How grateful I was for my piano, where—through Chopin, Brahms, and Beethoven—I could mingle my longing and seething energy with theirs, and dissolve my frustration in the beauty and grandeur of their conceptions.
Then one day, I met a girl, a wonderful army nurse, whose faith and stability were to change my whole life. As our acquaintance ripened into friendship, she discerned, behind my shell of gaiety, my recurring plateaus of depression. She said, "Stop knocking on closed doors. Keep up your beautiful music. I know your opportunity will come. You're trying too hard. Why don't you relax, and have you ever tried praying?"
The idea was strange to me. It sounded too simple. I had always operated on the premise that if you wanted something, you had to go out and get it yourself. Yet, my sincerity and hard work had yielded only meager returns, so I was willing to try anything. Experimentally and self-consciously, I cultivated the daily practice of prayer. I said, "God, show me the purpose for which You sent me to this world. Help me to be of use to myself and to humanity."
In the years that followed, the answers began to arrive, clear and satisfying beyond my most optimistic anticipation. One answer was Enchanted Hills, where my nurse friend and I have the privilege of seeing blind children come alive in God's outdoors. Others are the never-ending sources of pleasure and comfort I have found in friendship, in great music, and, most importantly, in my growing belief that as I attune my life to divine revelation, I draw closer to God and, through Him, to immortality.
中文翻译
我的童年和青春期充满了蓬勃的活力，是对表达、技能和体验的不懈追求。学校只是背景，真正的快乐来自音乐、舞蹈和戏剧课，以及去乡村、剧院和音乐会的旅居所带来的兴奋。
还有书——那些陪伴我乘坐电车、上餐桌、上床睡觉的厚重盲文书。然而，在一个高中舞会的夜晚，一句并非有意让我听到的话刺穿了我年轻的幸福：“那个女孩，真可惜她是个盲人。”盲人！这个丑陋的词意味着一切黑暗、空白、刻板和无助。我迅速转身喊道：“请不要为我感到难过，我玩得很开心。”但这快乐并未持久。
随着大学时代的到来，我不得不面对谋生的问题。兼职教授钢琴与和声，以及毕业后偶尔的音乐会和讲座，都只是部分的生活来源。考虑到投入的时间和精力，经济回报令人沮丧。这在我内心引发了灼人的自我怀疑和阴郁的沮丧情绪。看到我的姐妹和朋友一次次外出享受激动人心的约会，更增添了我对自己无能的沮丧感。我是多么感激我的钢琴啊——在那里，通过肖邦、勃拉姆斯和贝多芬，我可以将自己的渴望与沸腾的活力与他们的交融，并在他们构思的美与壮丽中消解我的挫败。
后来有一天，我遇到了一位女孩，一位出色的陆军护士，她的信念和沉稳改变了我的整个人生。随着我们的相识发展为友谊，她看穿了我快乐外表下反复出现的抑郁低谷。她说：“别再敲打紧闭的门了。继续你美妙的音乐吧。我知道你的机会终会到来。你太用力了。为什么不放松一下，你试过祈祷吗？”
这个想法对我来说很陌生，听起来太简单了。不知何故，我一直秉持着这样的前提：如果你想在这个世界上得到什么，你必须自己出去争取。然而，真诚和努力只带来了微薄的回报，我愿意尝试任何方法。带着尝试和些许不自在，我开始培养每日祈祷的习惯。我说：“上帝，请向我展示您派我来到这个世界的目的。帮助我对自己和人类有所用处。”
在随后的岁月里，答案开始显现，清晰且令人满足，超出了我最乐观的预期。其中一个答案是“魔法山”，在那里，我和我的护士朋友有幸看到盲童们在上帝创造的户外焕发生机。其他答案则是我在友谊、伟大音乐中找到的源源不断的快乐与慰藉，而最重要的是，在我日益增长的信念中：当我将生命调谐至神圣的启示，我便更接近上帝，并通过祂，接近永恒。