English Original
Uncle Sam and Osama decided to settle their war with a dogfight. Each had five years to breed the best fighting dog; the winner would dominate the world.
Osama bred the fiercest Doberman females with the meanest wolves, selecting only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter. After five years, he created the biggest, meanest dog ever.
On the day of the fight, Uncle Sam arrived with a strange-looking animal: a nine-foot-long Dachshund. When the cages opened, the Dachshund slowly waddled toward Osama's dog.
Osama's dog snarled, leaped from its cage, and charged—but as it got close, the Dachshund opened its mouth and ate Osama's dog whole!
"We don't understand!" Osama exclaimed. "Our best people worked for five years with the meanest dogs and wolves!"
Uncle Sam replied, "That's nothing. Our best plastic surgeons worked for five years to make that alligator look like a weenie dog."
中文翻译
山姆大叔和奥萨马决定用一场斗犬来解决战争。双方各有五年时间培育最好的斗犬，胜者将主宰世界。
奥萨马找到了世界上最凶猛的杜宾犬母犬，与最凶狠的狼进行杂交，并从每窝幼崽中只挑选最大最强壮的一只。五年后，他培育出了有史以来最大、最凶猛的狗。
决斗当天，山姆大叔带来了一只长相奇特的动物：一条九英尺长的腊肠犬。笼门打开后，这只腊肠犬慢慢摇摇晃晃地走向奥萨马的狗。
奥萨马的狗咆哮着跳出笼子，冲向美国狗——但当它靠近时，腊肠犬张开嘴，把奥萨马的狗整个吞了下去！
"我们不明白！"奥萨马惊呼，"我们最优秀的人员花了五年时间，用最凶猛的狗和狼来培育！"
山姆大叔回答说："这没什么。我们最顶尖的整形外科医生花了五年时间，才让那条鳄鱼看起来像一只小腊肠狗。"