English Original
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Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing. (Duane Dewel)
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Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. (Joanne Woodward)
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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. (James Holt McGavran)
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By all means marry, if you get a good wife, you'll be happy, if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. (Socrates)
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I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't. (Patrick Murray)
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. (Milton Berle)
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Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's. (Socrates)
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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. (Henry Youngman)
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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
- Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
- Whenever you're right, shut up. (Nash)
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Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. (Anonymous)
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Marriage is Love, Love is blind, therefore, Marriage is an institution for the Blind. (Anonymous)
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First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." (Anonymous)
中文翻译
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任何已婚男人都应该忘记自己的错误——没必要两个人都记得同一件事。(Duane Dewel)
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性感不久就会褪色，美貌终将凋零，但嫁给一个能让你每天开怀大笑的男人，啊，这才是真正的享受。(Joanne Woodward)
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有一种比电子银行转账更快的方式。它叫做婚姻。(James Holt McGavran)
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无论如何，结婚吧。娶到好妻子，你会幸福；娶到坏妻子，你会成为哲学家。(Socrates)
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我的两任妻子都让我运气不佳。第一个离开了我，而第二个没有。(Patrick Murray)
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一个好妻子总会在她错了的时候原谅她的丈夫。(Milton Berle)
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婚姻是这样一所学校：男人失去了学士学位（单身身份），而女人获得了硕士学位（掌控地位）。(Socrates)
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你知道晚上回到家，有一个女人会给你一点爱、一点温情、一点柔情意味着什么吗？这意味着你走错房子了，就是这个意思。(Henry Youngman)
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保持婚姻美满的两大秘诀：
- 一旦你错了，立刻承认；
- 一旦你对了，立刻闭嘴。(Nash)
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婚姻是唯一一场与敌人同床共枕的战争。(Anonymous)
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婚姻源于爱情，爱情是盲目的。因此，婚姻是为盲人设立的机构。(Anonymous)
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甲（骄傲地）：“我妻子是个天使！”乙：“你真走运，我的那位还活着呢。”(Anonymous)