English Original
A priest, a Southern Baptist preacher, and a rabbi served as chaplains at Northern Michigan University. They met regularly for coffee and conversation.
One day, they mused that preaching to people was easy; the real challenge would be preaching to a bear. Spurred on, they decided on an experiment: each would go into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
A week later, they reconvened to share their experiences.
Father Flannery, his arm in a sling and on crutches, spoke first. "I found a bear and began reading from the Catechism," he said. "He wanted nothing to do with me and started slapping me around. So I grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him, and—Holy Mary, Mother of God—he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next from his wheelchair, with limbs in casts and an IV drip. In fiery oratory, he declared, "Brothers, you KNOW we don't sprinkle! I found my bear and began reading from God's HOLY WORD! But he wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to WRESTLE. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. He became as gentle as a lamb, and we spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
The priest and the reverend then looked at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed in a body cast and traction, hooked up to IVs and monitors. He was in terrible shape.
The rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
中文翻译
一位神父、一位南方浸信会牧师和一位拉比共同在密歇根北部大学担任校牧。他们经常聚在一起喝咖啡聊天。
一天，他们闲聊说向人布道太简单了；真正的挑战是向一头熊布道。一时兴起，他们决定做个实验：每人进入森林，找到一头熊，向它布道，并尝试让它皈依。
一周后，他们再次聚首，分享各自的经历。
弗拉纳里神父首先发言，他手臂吊着绷带，拄着拐杖。他说：“我找到一头熊，开始给它诵读《教理问答》。它根本不想理我，还开始拍打我。于是我迅速抓起圣水，洒在它身上——圣母玛利亚啊——它立刻变得像羔羊一样温顺。主教下周要来给它做首次圣餐和坚振礼。”
接着是比利·鲍勃牧师发言，他坐在轮椅上，四肢打着石膏，还挂着点滴。他以火与硫磺式的激昂口吻宣称：“弟兄们，你们知道我们不洒水！我找到了我的熊，开始诵读上帝的圣言！但它根本不想理我。于是我抓住了它，我们开始摔跤。我们摔下一个山坡，又滚上另一个，再摔下另一个，直到来到一条小溪边。我迅速把它按进水里，为它毛茸茸的灵魂施了洗礼。它变得像羔羊一样温顺，我们那天剩下的时间都在赞美耶稣。”
神父和牧师随后看向拉比，他正躺在医院的病床上，全身打着石膏，进行着牵引治疗，身上插满了输液管和监控仪器。他的情况非常糟糕。
拉比抬起头说道：“回想起来，割礼可能不是个好的开场方式。”