Unpublishable Children's Books | 永远不会出版的童书

English Original

Here are some children's books that will never be published:

• "You Were an Accident"
• "Strangers Have the Best Candy"
• "The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!"
• "When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say God Did It"
• "Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia"
• "What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?"
• "Why can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Socket be friends?"
• "Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"
• "Dad's New Wife Timothy"
• "Pop! Goes The Hamster....And Other Great Microwave Games"
• "The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables"
• "The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy"
• "Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will"
• "The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead"
• "How to Become The Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School"
• "Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear"

中文翻译

以下是一些永远不会出版的童书：

• 《你是个意外》
• 《陌生人的糖果最好吃》
• 《注意力缺陷障碍协会的北美野生动物书——嘿！我们去骑自行车吧！》
• 《当爸爸妈妈不知道答案时，他们说是上帝干的》
• 《加菲猫得了猫白血病》
• 《那只狗在对另一只狗做什么？》
• 《为什么叉子先生和插座太太不能做朋友？》
• 《爸爸喝酒是因为你哭》
• 《爸爸的新妻子蒂莫西》
• 《砰！仓鼠爆了……以及其他精彩的微波炉游戏》
• 《那个吃光所有蔬菜而死的男孩》
• 《人体解剖立体书》
• 《富家孩子有但你永远不会有的事物》
• 《爱心熊袭击露营者并被击毙》
• 《如何成为你小学里的主导军事力量》
• 《控制操场：通过恐惧赢得尊重》