English Original
Master Pfriem was a short, thin, but lively man, who never rested a moment. His face, marked with small-pox and pale as death, was dominated by a turned-up nose. His hair was gray and shaggy, and his small eyes glanced perpetually about.
He saw everything, criticized everything, knew everything best, and was always right. Once, while walking with arms swinging as if rowing, he knocked a girl's water pail into the air, drenching himself. "Stupid thing!" he cried, "Couldst thou not see I was behind thee?"
A shoemaker by trade, he worked with such force that he often elbowed bystanders. No apprentice stayed more than a month, for he always found fault with their work—uneven stitches, mismatched heels, or poorly cut leather. "Wait," he'd say, "I'll show thee how to soften skins," and he'd strike them with a strap, calling them all sluggards.
He himself produced little work, for he could never sit still. If his wife lit the morning fire, he'd rush in barefoot, shouting, "Wilt thou burn my house down? Does wood cost nothing?" If servants laughed by the wash-tubs, he'd scold them for gossiping and wasting soap, then knock over a pail, flooding the kitchen.
Seeing a new house being built, he hurried to the window. "They use that damp red sandstone!" he cried. "No one will be healthy there! The mortar is worthless! I shall see it tumble down!" He then rushed out to confront the builders, criticizing the carpenters' alignment and snatching an axe to demonstrate. Spotting a cart with young horses, he berated the peasant: "Who yokes young horses to a heavy load? They will die on the spot!"
Returning in a rage to his workshop, his apprentice handed him a poorly cut shoe. "Who would buy this?" Pfriem screamed. The apprentice replied, "Master, you may be right about the shoe, but it is the one you yourself cut out and were working on. You knocked it off the table when you jumped up. An angel from heaven would never make you believe that."
One night, Master Pfriem dreamed he was dead and on his way to heaven. Knocking loudly, he complained about the lack of a knocker. The apostle Peter opened the door and warned him to give up his fault-finding habit. "You might have spared your warning," Pfriem answered. "Here, everything is perfect."
Walking through heaven, he shook his head at what he saw. Two angels carried a beam obliquely. "Did anyone ever see such stupidity?" he thought, but held his tongue. He then saw angels drawing water with a leaky bucket to water the earth. "Hang it!" he exclaimed, but reconsidered: "Perhaps it is only a pastime."
Next, he saw a cart stuck in a hole, loaded with "good wishes." An angel harnessed two horses to it. "Two won't suffice," thought Pfriem. Another angel brought two more horses but harnessed them behind the cart. This was too much. "Clumsy creature!" he burst out. "Has anyone ever seen a cart drawn that way?"
Before he could say more, a heavenly inhabitant seized him by the throat and pushed him out with irresistible strength. Beneath the gateway, Pfriem turned to see the cart being lifted into the air by four winged horses.
At that moment, he awoke. "Things are arranged differently in heaven," he said to himself. "But who can patiently see horses harnessed both behind and before? True, they had wings, but who could know that? Besides, it's folly to fix wings to a horse that already has four legs! But I must get up, or they will make nothing but mistakes in my house. It's lucky I am not really dead."
中文翻译
普弗里姆师傅是个矮小、瘦削但精力充沛的人，一刻也闲不住。他的脸苍白如死，布满麻子，最突出的特征是一个朝天鼻。他头发灰白蓬乱，小眼睛不停地扫视四周。
他什么都看，什么都批评，自以为无所不知，且永远正确。一次他走路时双臂像划船一样摆动，打翻了一个女孩的水桶，把自己淋得透湿。"蠢东西！"他喊道，"你没看见我在你后面吗？"
他以做鞋为生，干活时用力过猛，常常撞到旁人。没有学徒能跟他超过一个月，因为他总能从最好的活计里挑出毛病——针脚不齐、鞋跟高低不一、皮革裁得不够大。"等着，"他会说，"我这就教你怎么让皮子变软，"然后就用皮带抽他们，骂他们都是懒汉。
他自己却出活不多，因为他根本坐不住。要是他妻子清早生火，他会光着脚冲进厨房大喊："你想烧了我的房子吗？柴火不要钱吗？"要是仆人们在洗衣盆边说笑，他会骂她们像鹅一样嘎嘎叫，只顾闲聊浪费肥皂，然后踢翻水桶，弄得厨房一片汪洋。
看到有人在盖新房子，他急忙跑到窗边。"他们又用那种永远干不了的红砂石！"他叫道，"住那房子的人永远不会健康！砂浆也一无是处！我非得看到它塌在住户头上不可！"接着他就冲出去找工人们理论，指责木匠没按墨线干活，还抢过斧头做示范。看到一辆用年轻马匹拉的重载马车，他又训斥农夫："谁会用小马拉重车？它们会当场累死的！"
怒气冲冲回到作坊后，学徒递给他一只裁坏了的鞋。"谁会买这个？"普弗里姆尖叫。学徒答道："师傅，您说这鞋不好也许很对，但这是您自己裁好并开始做的。您刚才跳起来时把它从桌上碰掉了。就算是天堂来的天使，也休想让您相信这一点。"
一天晚上，普弗里姆师傅梦见自己死了，正前往天堂。他大声敲门，抱怨门上连个门环都没有。使徒彼得开了门，警告他必须改掉吹毛求疵的习惯。"您的警告多余了，"普弗里姆回答，"这里一切完美。"
在天堂漫步时，他对所见景象频频摇头。两个天使斜扛着一根梁木。"谁见过这么蠢的事？"他想，但忍住了没说。接着他看到天使用一只漏桶从井里打水浇灌大地。"见鬼！"他脱口而出，但转念一想："也许这只是消遣。"
随后，他看到一辆载着"美好祝愿"的马车陷在深坑里。一位天使套了两匹马。"两匹可不够，"普弗里姆想。又一位天使牵来两匹马，却套在了车后面。这下他忍无可忍："蠢货！"他爆发了，"自古谁见过这样拉车的？你以为你什么都懂吗？"
他还想多说，一位天堂居民掐住他的喉咙，用不可抗拒的力量把他推了出去。在门廊下，普弗里姆回头瞥见那辆马车正被四匹长翅膀的马提上了天空。
就在这时，他醒了。"天堂的规矩果然和人间不同，"他自言自语，"但谁能眼睁睁看着马既套在前面又套在后面而无动于衷？当然，它们有翅膀，可谁能知道呢？况且，给一匹已经有四条腿能跑的马装上翅膀，真是愚不可及！但我得起床了，不然家里那些人准会给我捅娄子。幸好我不是真死了。"