English Original
The following excerpts, taken from real court records, were published in the Salt Lake Tribune. They showcase a series of remarkably foolish questions asked during legal proceedings.
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Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?
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Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you? -
Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
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The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
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Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls? -
Were you alone or by yourself?
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Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken? -
Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
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Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? -
Q: Now then, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated? -
Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on March 12th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was around January 12th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time? -
Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
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Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
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Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide? -
So, you were gone until you returned?
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You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
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Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet. -
A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question, interrupted himself: "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."
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Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Huntington at St. Mary's Hospital?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 5:30 P.M.
Q: And Mr. Huntington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was performing an autopsy on him!
中文翻译
以下摘录自真实的法庭记录，发表于《盐湖城论坛报》。它们展示了一系列在法律程序中提出的极其愚蠢的问题。
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医生，一个人在睡梦中死去时，大多数情况下他只是安静地离开，直到第二天早上才知道发生了什么，这不是真的吗？
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问：然后发生了什么？
答：他告诉我，他说：“我必须杀了你，因为你能认出我。”
问：他杀你了吗？ -
在战争中死去的是你还是你兄弟？
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最小的儿子，那个20岁的，他多大了？
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问：她有三个孩子，对吗？
答：是的。
问：有几个是男孩？
答：没有。
问：有女孩吗？ -
你是独自一人还是自己一个人？
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问：我向你出示证据3，请问你认得这张照片吗？
答：那是我。
问：这张照片拍摄时你在场吗？ -
今天早上你宣誓时，你在法庭上吗？
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问：你说楼梯通到地下室？
答：是的。
问：那这些楼梯，也通到楼上吗？ -
问：那么，约翰逊夫人，你的第一次婚姻是如何终止的？
答：因为死亡。
问：是因为谁的死亡而终止的？ -
问：你知道你现在怀孕多久了吗？
答：到3月12号我就满三个月了。
问：那么，显然受孕日期大约是1月12号？
答：是的。
问：那时候你在做什么？ -
你有孩子或类似的东西吗？
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那是你小时候摔断的那个鼻子吗？
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问：琼斯夫人，你认为自己情绪稳定吗？
答：我曾经是。
问：你自杀过多少次？ -
所以，你离开了，直到你回来？
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你不知道它是什么，也不知道它长什么样，但你能描述一下它吗？
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问：你一辈子都住在这个镇上吗？
答：还没有。 -
一位德克萨斯州的律师意识到自己即将问出一个愚蠢的问题，打断了自己：“法官大人，我想撤回下一个问题。”
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问：你还记得大约是什么时候在圣玛丽医院检查亨廷顿先生的尸体吗？
答：是在晚上。尸检大约在下午5:30开始。
问：那么亨廷顿先生当时已经死了，对吗？
答：不，你这个白痴，他当时坐在桌子上，纳闷我为什么在给他做尸检！