English Original
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.
A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"
The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"
Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers.
Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
中文翻译
问：你怎么知道一个律师被吊得很好？
答：你没法在绳子和他的脖子之间塞进一根手指！
问：如果你和希特勒、匈奴王阿提拉以及一名律师一起被困在荒岛上，而你只有一把枪和两颗子弹，你会怎么做？
答：朝那个律师开两枪。
问：你怎么称呼躺在海底的五千个死律师？
答：一个良好的开端！
问：你怎么知道律师在撒谎？
答：他的嘴唇在动。
问：路上的一条死狗和路上的一个死律师有什么区别？
答：狗的前面有刹车痕迹。
问：为什么鲨鱼不攻击律师？
答：职业礼仪。
问：当一个律师被沙子埋到脖子时，你有什么感觉？
答：沙子还不够多。
问：为什么上帝在创造律师之前先创造了蛇？
答：为了练习。
有人命令一只狗：“说话！”
狗回答说：“我的律师不在场，我拒绝开口！”
问：为什么去参加律师协会的会议就像去鱼饵店？
答：因为到处都是易上当的傻瓜、吸血鬼、蛆虫和蚯蚓。
问：为什么美国有这么多律师？
答：因为圣帕特里克把蛇赶出了爱尔兰。
问：一个律师和一群水牛有什么区别？
答：律师收费更高。