English Original
I have a friend who is falling in love. She honestly claims the sky is bluer. Mozart moves her to tears. She has lost 15 pounds and looks like a cover girl.
"I'm young again!" she shouts exuberantly.
As my friend raves on about her new love, I've taken a good look at my old one. My husband of almost 20 years, Scott, has gained 15 pounds. Once a marathon runner, he now runs only down hospital halls. His hairline is receding and his body shows the signs of long working hours and too many candy bars. Yet he can still give me a certain look across a restaurant table and I want to ask for the check and head home.
When my friend asked me "What will make this love last?" I ran through all the obvious reasons: commitment, shared interests, unselfishness, physical attraction, communication. Yet there's more.
We still have fun. Spontaneous good times. Yesterday, after slipping the rubber band off the rolled up newspaper, Scott flipped it playfully at me: this led to an all-out war. Last Saturday at the grocery, we split the list and raced each other to see who could make it to the checkout first. Even washing dishes can be a blast. We enjoy simply being together.
And there are surprises. One time I came home to find a note on the front door that led me to another note, then another, until I reached the walk-in closet. I opened the door to find Scott holding a "pot of gold" (my cooking kettle) and the "treasure" of a gift package. Sometimes I leave him notes on the mirror and little presents under his pillow.
There is understanding. I understand why he must play basketball with the guys. And he understands why, once a year, I must get away from the house, the kids -and even him -to meet my sisters for a few days of nonstop talking and laughing.
There is sharing. Not only do we share household worries and parental burdens — we also share ideas. Scott came home from a convention last month and presented me with a thick historical novel. Though he prefers thrillers and science fiction, he had read the novel on the plane. He touched my heart when he explained it was because he wanted to be able to exchange ideas about the book after I'd read it.
There is forgiveness. When I'm embarrassingly loud and crazy at parties, Scott forgives me. When he confessed losing some of our savings in the stock market, I gave him a hug and said, "It's okay. It's only money."
There is sensitivity. Last week he walked through the door with that look that tells me it's been a tough day. After he spent some time with the kids, I asked him what happened. He told me about a 60-year-old woman who'd had a stroke. He wept as he recalled the woman's husband standing beside her bed, caressing her hand. How was he going to tell this husband of 40 years that his wife would probably never recover? I shed a few tears myself. Because of the medical crisis. Because there were still people who have been married 40 years. Because my husband is still moved and concerned after years of hospital rooms and dying patients.
There is faith. Last Tuesday a friend came over and confessed her fear that her husband is losing his courageous battle with cancer. On Wednesday I went to lunch with a friend who is struggling to reshape her life after divorce. On Thursday a neighbor called to talk about the frightening effects of Alzheimer's disease on her father-in-law's personality. On Friday a childhood friend called long-distance to tell me her father had died. I hung up the phone and thought, this is too much heartache for one week. Through my tears, as I went out to run some errands, I noticed the boisterous orange blossoms of the gladiolus outside my window. I heard the delighted laughter of my son and his friend as they played. I caught sight of a wedding party emerging from a neighbor's house. The bride, dressed in satin and lace, tossed her bouquet to her cheering friends. That night, I told my husband about these events. We helped each other acknowledge the cycles of life and that the joys counter the sorrows. It was enough to keep us going.
Finally, there is knowing. I know Scott will throw his laundry just shy of the hamper every night; he'll be late to most appointments and eat the last chocolate in the box. He knows that I sleep with a pillow over my head; I'll lock us out of the house on a regular basis, and I will also eat the last chocolate.
I guess our love lasts because it is comfortable. No, the sky is not bluer: it's just a familiar hue. We don't feel particularly young: we've experienced too much that has contributed to our growth and wisdom, taking its toll on our bodies, and created our memories.
I hope we've got what it takes to make our love last. As a bride, I had Scott's wedding band engraved with Robert Browning's line "Grow old along with me!" We're following those instructions.
"If anything is real, the heart will make it plain."
中文翻译
我的一位朋友正在热恋中。她真诚地宣称天空更蓝了。莫扎特的音乐能让她感动落泪。她瘦了15磅，看起来像个封面女郎。
“我又年轻了！”她生气勃勃地喊道。
当我的朋友滔滔不绝地谈论她的新恋情时，我仔细审视了我那“旧”的爱人。我结婚近20年的丈夫斯科特，体重增加了15磅。曾经是马拉松选手的他，如今只在医院的走廊里奔跑。他的发际线在后退，身体也显露出长时间工作和吃了太多糖果的痕迹。然而，他仍然能在餐厅的桌子对面给我一个特定的眼神，让我想立刻结账回家。
当朋友问我“是什么让爱情持久？”时，我列举了所有显而易见的理由：承诺、共同兴趣、无私、身体吸引、沟通。但还有更多。
我们仍然有乐趣。那些自发的快乐时光。昨天，斯科特从卷起的报纸上取下橡皮筋，顽皮地弹向我：这引发了一场“全面战争”。上周六在杂货店，我们分开了购物清单，比赛看谁能先到收银台。即使是洗碗也能很有趣。我们享受简单地在一起。
还有惊喜。有一次我回到家，发现前门上有一张纸条，它指引我找到另一张，接着又是一张，直到我走到步入式衣橱。我打开门，发现斯科特拿着一个“金罐子”（我的煮锅）和一个礼包的“宝藏”。有时我也会在镜子上给他留纸条，把小小的礼物放在他的枕头下。
有理解。我理解他为什么必须和朋友们打篮球。他也理解为什么我每年必须离开家、离开孩子——甚至离开他——去和我的姐妹们聚几天，不停地聊天和欢笑。
有分享。我们不仅分担家庭忧虑和为人父母的重担——我们也分享想法。斯科特上个月参加完一个会议回家，送给我一本厚重的历史小说。尽管他更喜欢惊悚小说和科幻小说，他还是在飞机上读完了这本小说。当他解释说，这是因为他想在我读完后能和我交流想法时，他触动了我的心。
有宽恕。当我在派对上吵闹疯狂得令人尴尬时，斯科特原谅我。当他坦承在股市中损失了我们的一些积蓄时，我拥抱了他，说：“没关系，只是钱而已。”
有敏感。上周他走进家门，脸上带着那种告诉我他度过了艰难一天的神情。他和孩子们待了一会儿后，我问他发生了什么事。他告诉我一位60岁的中风女士。他回忆起那位女士的丈夫站在她床边，抚摸着她的手时，他哭了。他该如何告诉这位结婚40年的丈夫，他的妻子可能永远无法康复？我自己也流下了眼泪。因为这场医疗危机。因为还有人结婚40年。因为我的丈夫在经历了多年的病房和垂死病人之后，仍然会被感动和关心。
有信念。上周二，一位朋友过来，吐露了她的恐惧，担心她的丈夫正在输掉与癌症的勇敢斗争。周三，我和一位正在离婚后努力重塑生活的朋友共进午餐。周四，一位邻居打电话来谈论阿尔茨海默病对她公公性格的可怕影响。周五，一位儿时的朋友打长途电话告诉我她的父亲去世了。我挂断电话，心想，这一周的心痛太多了。我含着泪出门办事时，注意到了窗外剑兰喧闹的橙色花朵。我听到儿子和他的朋友玩耍时欢快的笑声。我看到一个婚礼队伍从邻居家走出来。新娘穿着缎子和蕾丝，把花束抛向欢呼的朋友们。那天晚上，我把这些事告诉了丈夫。我们互相帮助，承认生命的循环，以及欢乐能抵消悲伤。这足以让我们继续前行。
最后，有了解。我知道斯科特每晚都会把脏衣服扔在洗衣篮旁边；他大多数约会都会迟到，还会吃掉盒子里最后一块巧克力。他知道我睡觉时头上要盖个枕头；我会定期把我们锁在门外，而且我也会吃掉最后一块巧克力。
我想我们的爱之所以持久，是因为它舒适。不，天空并没有更蓝：它只是熟悉的色调。我们并不觉得特别年轻：我们经历了太多，这些经历促成了我们的成长和智慧，也在我们的身体上留下了痕迹，并创造了我们的回忆。
我希望我们拥有让爱持久所需的一切。作为新娘，我在斯科特的婚戒上刻下了罗伯特·勃朗宁的诗句“与我一同老去！”。我们正遵循着这个指引。
“若有什么是真实的，心自会使其明了。”